# Review and revise a message

Source: *Building a StoryBrand* (2017), chapters 1–3 and 12, interpreted with the seven-element framework from chapters 4–11. The book's “grunt test” asks whether a person can understand the offer, benefit, and buying step within roughly five seconds of seeing the material.

## Diagnose the real surface

Look at the page, modal, ad, or email as a customer encounters it. For a site, inspect the first screen on relevant screen sizes; words, imagery, order, and button prominence work together. For a paywall, begin with the action the user attempted and what the product actually unlocks. Read the whole path if the same promise moves from ad to page to checkout or signup.

Start with the three questions a new customer must answer:

1. What is being offered?
2. How does it improve my situation?
3. What do I do to get or start it?

Then examine the message spine:

| Check | Weak signal | Revision direction |
|---|---|---|
| Customer desire | The headline describes the company, technology, or mission before a customer goal. | Name the customer's relevant outcome or the problem the product solves. |
| Problem | A list of unrelated pains, or an invented emotional wound. | Choose the real obstacle and, where supported, its internal frustration. |
| Guide | Self-congratulation or ungrounded “trusted by thousands.” | State empathy plainly and add one piece of verifiable evidence. |
| Plan | The product sounds useful but getting value feels vague or risky. | Show the actual next steps or a genuine risk-reducing promise. |
| Action | Several equally prominent actions or a button whose effect is unclear. | Make the primary step visible, specific, and true to its destination. |
| Stakes and success | Vague “transform your business” or exaggerated fear. | Show a believable before-and-after change and a proportionate cost of inaction. |
| Economy | Jargon, long setup, or details unrelated to the decision. | Cut noise; move necessary detail to where a buyer needs it. |

Check the facts against the product: claim, plan name, feature access, price, trial, billing interval, renewal, cancellation, and customer proof. A persuasive rewrite must still be accurate. If the evidence is unavailable, identify the unverified claim rather than writing it as fact.

## Turn the diagnosis into useful work

Prioritize the blockers with the greatest effect on understanding or decision-making. Show the precise copy or layout change that addresses each one; avoid a long list of generic marketing rules. When asked to rewrite, provide usable replacement copy in the existing voice and surface constraints. When asked to implement, make and verify the change in the product.

Do not mark a small paywall, email, or button as incomplete merely because it does not literally display all seven StoryBrand elements. Judge whether the relevant part of the customer's story is clear at that moment and whether the full journey remains consistent.